How many times was I the one who was dumped?
I can’t even begin to count them all, nor do I care to do so!
You see, it literally took me decades of my life before I figured out why I was always the one being told “let’s just be friends” by whatever boyfriend I had at the moment. Let me explain. . .
The “it’s not you it’s me” story:
From a very early age (pretty much from the time I first started noticing boys), I always had this sense that I wan’t “enough”. Meaning pretty enough, skinny enough, funny enough. . .etc.
Somehow Disney did me wrong by making me believe that my main goal in life was to find that “Prince Charming” to sweep me off my feet and unabashedly love me unconditionally (thus making me feel like the princess I longed to be). Somehow I had decided that unless I was madly in love (or more importantly had someone madly in love with ME) that my life had no value or meaning.
I spent so many years seeking out that one guy who would make me feel loved and valued. Mainly because I no where near loved or valued myself. So consequently, I bounced around in unhealthy relationships with men who never wanted me for ME. I had to constantly change something about myself to keep them happy. Stuff my opinions, dress differently, wear more make up, wear my hair differently etc. etc. All to please them and never being able to be MYSELF.
The problem was simple, yet I never saw it for what it was at the time. I was so super uncomfortable in my own skin I couldn’t be authentic. I wasn’t owning my truth. I wasn’t being who my SOUL came here to be.
This was the reason all those relationships crashed and burned. I was trying to be someone else. Someone better than myself. And I continued to have my heart broken over and over again because I continued to perpetuate this lie that I wasn’t worthy.
It wasn’t until I had a serious moment of clarity in my late 30’s where I decided that enough was enough. I was tired of living for everyone else’s approval. Meeting everyone else’s needs other than my own. I was done living that way. And I filed for divorce from my then husband.
It was then that I sat down and made a list. A list of the perfect soul mate for me. What he would look like. How he would treat me. How we would spend time together. How he would make me feel. I tapped into my soul’s desires. I prayed, and sat back and allowed the Universe to work it’s magic.
Two short months later, in walked Christofer Alberti into my life. He was my LIST! Literally EVERYTHING I had written on my wish list and MORE!
I was so astonished at how perfect we were for each other I actually almost walked away from our relationship thinking it was too good to be true! (fortunately I listened to my intuition I didn’t ~ 14 years later we’re still happily married!)
The reason why I’m sharing all this with you is to let you know that I had to first look at the common denominator in all my failed relationships. . .ME!
I wasn’t being true to ME! I wasn’t being my authentic self. Expressing my own needs, wants, and desires. I was too busy trying to be what I THOUGHT these guys wanted me to be. And obviously each and every time I did that the relationship was doomed from the get go.
I had to learn to embrace my own worthiness. OUTSIDE of a relationship. To get in touch with my own inner being. I had to embrace who I was BEFORE I was able to attract the perfect person into my life.
That goes for everyone. . .including YOU!
In order to attract our hearts desire in a soul mate relationship, we have to first BE the person we are seeking. We have to embody the VIBRATION of that person. We have to be our authentic selves.
That being said. . .I want to let you know that it took me nearly 40 years of my life to reach this conclusion. HOWEVER, it doesn’t have to take you anywhere near that time to be able to accomplish the same thing for yourself!
If you are finding yourself stuck in one failed relationship after another. Or your looking to get over the heartbreak and pain you may be suffering from previous relationships, then I’m here to help you!
I just launched my new 12 week one on one coaching program that will take you from HOT MESS to RELATIONSHIP SUCCESS!
I would love for you to check it out at the link here.
And remember. . .you are MORE THAN ENOUGH and you too deserve to have that beautiful soul aligned relationship you’ve been dreaming of! Let me help you find it!